MANY VOICES, LOST IDENTITY.
A question I like to ask people, especially the ones who approach me saying that they want to be a motivational speaker or coach or are already one is: "Is who you are today or what you have become the real you or the collection of people's opinion about you?"
Prior to 2013, I had lived my life how people told me to. I was told severally that as a public figure, there were things I shouldn't be doing. I was told that holding my female friends by their waist while taking a picture would make me look like an impostor; that I should stop looking into my friend's eyes when taking a picture because it meant giving "daughters of Zion" hope. I received warnings and reminders that I am a public figure whenever I expressed my displeasure in public. I was told that keeping my relationship private isn't ideal because public figures don't have a private life.
These stories and more weighed me down and I began to see my job and fame as a burden: a burden that made me lose myself.
These voices made me lose myself because I was the collection of their opinions. I would knot ties which I hate, to go speak because speakers must be corporately dressed. I wouldn't hold Ayanfeoluwa Lawal, Omotayo Atinuke Junaid, Electron Temi, Adenike D-light Akinsanya, Okobi Maryjane by the waist because I must not give daughters of Zion hope. I shouldn't express my love for women because I am a Christian. And the list kept growing.
You see, you have one life and you need to live it on your own terms else you will live your life based on popular opinion and lose your identity.
The most important voice is your own voice - that inner voice that speaks to you; that voice that reminds you of who and what you are; that voice that speaks to you when you wake up in the morning or retire to bed at night; that voice that reveals you to you; that voice that empowers you. That voice is the most important voice you need to listen to and the one you should always long to hear and listen to. So, get up and walk to Shitta and buy that plate of amala.
Go, pursue that dream. You may not know what's out there but you will find it.
Ask for that help. The worst answer you can get is a NO. Start a chat with that guy; it doesn't mean you are cheap at all. Tell that lady you love her; who knows if it can birth a beautiful relationship. Resign from that job not after you have a structure that can put food on the table. Learn from the past; think more of the present. These two will take care of the future.
Make your own mistakes and own up to them. Live your life at cause not at effect. Don't ever say "is it because I'm a woman?" for that alone means you agree that women are inferior.
You can be your own locus of control. Stand up and speak your mind. Don't ever cower. Be your voice; listen to your own voice and keep your identity.
Life becomes easy when you are YOU.
You matter to me...
Kehinde Oripinye Sunday